Crucify my love

Crucify my love
If my love is blind
Crucify my love
If it sets me free
Never know Never trust
“That love should see a color”
Crucify my love
If it should be that way
“Crucify My Love" - Song by X JAPAN
“I am afraid of losing the lives of my own things even my hair. I am so afraid...”
In the winter of 1995, Mayumi was crying for a dying life she could never save and cursing at her fate. Her waist-length black hair showed her time of pain. She was singing the song every time she looked in to a mirror in a dark bathroom. She could only accept cigarette, canned coffee and I was just like a match flame for her. I remember that I broke our friendship and left her alone with an inhuman behavior when she has been informed a very sad fact.
And now I am the one standing in front of a mirror in my bathroom. Wearing (accessories, hair-style) also means exhaust and it makes us passive unconsciously. I will have my hair cut and my reset and reshape would be completed.
「例え髪の毛でも、私のものの命を失うのが怖いの。本当に怖いの・・・。」
１９９５年の冬、真由美は彼女が救うことの出来ない消えゆく命を想って涙を流し、自分の運命を呪っていた。腰まで伸びた彼女の黒髪が苦痛の時間を証明していた。暗い浴室の鏡を見る度に、真由美はいつもあの歌を唄っていた。受け付けられるのはタバコと缶コーヒーだけで、私は彼女にとってマッチの炎のような存在でしかなかった。真由美が非情な宣告を受けたとき、私は友情を捨て冷酷な態度で彼女を置き去りにしたことを覚えている。
そして今、私が浴室の鏡の前に立っている。（装飾品や髪型を）身にまとうことには消耗の意味もあり、知らぬ間に受身で消極的にさせるようだ。髪を切ることで、再始動と再構築は完了するだろう。